rad

thedyingrose. part of me is glad all i use is black and white...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:45:00 -0500

thedyingrose.

part of me is glad all i use is black and white film, because you can’t really tell as much that the flower is withering away.

ever think about your reputation in the community you inhabit? i rarely do. only when the thought occurs to me that i’m potentially a topic of conversation. i’m too private to be a topic of gossip. except for a rumor last year that i was bisexual…but even that had no foundation of truth. haha. recently, word has gotten around that i like to play with an old camera and take cool pictures in my spare time. it’s still silly in every way.

what do i want to be known for? what do i want people to think when they think of me? we all are associated in some shape or form. that’s just how humans function.

maybe i’ll share on here the person i wish i was to the world. someday. in the meantime, who are you? what do you want others to know you for?

isn’t it funny, how i say know, in terms of right now? what about the future? what about long after your gone? what will you be to this world?

thebecky_com there’s no . in scrabble, so i put in a blank...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:44:58 -0500

thebecky_com

there’s no . in scrabble, so i put in a blank piece. there was another scrabble photo that my friend who works at cvs forgot to transfer to the cd for me. oh well.

might spam a bit tonight…

themagictrick

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:14:36 -0500

if i can create that emotion in another human being, then surely it must exist. even if i ~~fail~~ to feel it myself. all i can do is breathe a sigh of relief. i’ve been given hope.

i was thinking about this while walking home today, after receiving a smile back from a fellow pedestrian. i knew i was going to smile at her, but she had no idea what i had planned. a pleasant surprise. an ounce of hope that maybe this younger generation will turn out alright.

had she smiled at me first, i wonder what i would have thought.

i’d probably find something to blog about it, regardless of who initiated the action.

it happened; two strangers felt a positive force for a second or two. the odds of us crossing paths again…i’m not sure. there’s a universe out there where that never happened today, and this blog doesn’t even exist. i’m not writing. i wonder what i’d be doing instead had i not been inspired by what seems to be a daily routine for me: smiling at strangers just to see if they smile back. what if that never occurred to me? maybe i’d be somewhere else. who would give me hope in humanity? the people i know?

i’ve always thought the people we don’t know often have the ability to have the greatest influence on us. if, by some chance, someone you never met simply understood everything you believed in..it’s so unexpected. it startles everything that we know to be true. the people closest to us, the ones we choose in our lives, should be the ones who know that. afterall, that’s how we expect the world to work.

but it doesn’t.

it’s illogical. or maybe our perception of logic is just off.

hm.

whatever.

jdel: yurztruly: PS22 Chorus “FIREFLIES” Owl City (via...

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:04:16 -0500

jdel:

yurztruly:

PS22 Chorus “FIREFLIES” Owl City (via agreggofsociety)

WARNING: CUTE OVERLOAD.

ckck: Grand Central Terminal, New York City, October...

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 10:14:49 -0500

ckck:

Grand Central Terminal, New York City, October 1941.

Photograph by John Collier Jr.

sometimes i wish the world were still like this. seems like it was nice.

thesongienjoyplayingforonce. i’ve already posted...

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 23:33:19 -0500

thesongienjoyplayingforonce.

i’ve already posted havendance. too bad, here it is again.

thedivas

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:51:00 -0500

i can say i’ve seen both sides in the theatre. the crew vs the cast. a classic tale.

a tale of hate and misunderstanding. the lack of appreciation. i’m disgusted on both parts. the cast pushes the crew around, the crew badmouths the cast. neither understand each other. it’s so dramatic. hah.

i’m sick of it. sick of panicked quick changes over a silly performance, the attitude behind stage when shit needs to be done. it doesn’t even seem worth it anymore. this entire week i’ve just seen everyone’s ugly side because i’ve been ~~behind~~ the scenes instead of on the stage. i’ve never been less passionate about a show in my life. it’s always been about having fun; the butterflies in our stomachs as the curtain is pulled, the smiles, the laughs. not the insults and the overemphasized panic. it’s as though i’ve forgotten what this is about in the midst of the action. but maybe that’s what life is backstage. and it’s definitely not for me. dealing with everyone’s shit. lack of appreciation. i shouldn’t have to dance on stage to be respected like everyone else. don’t get me wrong; a lot of the people in the cast are wonderful friends of mine. but a lot of the others are just sucked into this vortex of selfishness. ridiculous.

at least i have some more insight now. expect me to be playing in the pit band for the show next year. so sick of the stage.

thebuddhism

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:18:52 -0500

i make mistakes! at least i learn from them. stop being so hard on me. please. i’m not perfect and i never will be.

to me, from me.

but, you still weren’t right. that was dumb. it’s okay, though. forgive yourself.

thebet

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:19:45 -0500

i betcha i could go a week without blogging, too.

maybe.

i don’t want to test that out. but i have very little to say…still.

should i speak for the sake of speaking?

no.

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.: This is important, please reblog even if you don't live in san diego

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:15:00 -0500

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.: This is important, please reblog even if you don't live in san diego:

chris-swenson:

reality-uncheck:

Hello all, Our beloved Chelsea went missing yesterday afternoon in Poway, CA. Attached is a recent photo of her and below is some basic information. Please forward this to everyone you know.

Chelsea King

Age 17

5’5, 115 pounds

Blond Hair, Blue eyes

Senior at Poway High School

Honor…

Guys, this is my cousin’s best friend since birth. REBLOG THIS.

therose. it’s dying, but i think it still looks pretty....

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:46:15 -0500

therose.

~~it’s dying~~, but i think it still looks pretty. i’ve been playing around with my mom’s old digital camera (and by old, i mean at least 5+ years)…i still would like my own. this will do for now. hehe.

the white thing on the left is a hair scrunchy. i like it in the photo because of the triangle it helps create between the other white spot on the desk and the focal point (the flower, durr), but logically it makes no sense there. hmph.

thevegetableroll

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:45:22 -0500

tonight i had an experience that i can’t say i’ve had before. a first, if you will.

tonight i was choking in a restaurant on my meal. legitimate airway blocked, can’t swallow can’t spit out type of choking.

i’m not sure how to go about writing this. it’s not the actual occurrence that was significant. i think it was my instinctive reaction to that type of situation. i’ve thought about it in these past few hours, and it’s a perfect example of true character. severe situations bring out the best and worst of a person. the truth.

so i was sitting there, trying not to make a scene. trying to get the food down my throat like it was no big deal. my boyfriend across from me, eating his food; people at the table next to us drunkenly enjoying their saki; and others absorbed in their own social situations.

i’m a nervous person. i’m indecisive and ~~antsy~~ when the spotlight is on me.

so i sat there, trying to get it down. trying not to be gross having food ~~spewing out of my mouth.~~

go, damnit!

i couldn’t breathe.

i was relatively calm about this. my ultimate goal was to not have someone have to help me. i didn’t want to cause a scene.

i contemplated trying to swallow for a few seconds longer. but, in the end, i felt breathing was a little more necessary than being polite.

hello gag-reflex!

unfortunately, there was a witness. he was sitting across from me. and that was embarassing. but i hid it well. discreetly regurgitating my veggies.

it was nasty.

i spoke to my father about it later on in the night. he mentioned the universal choking sign; one i didn’t even think of. i realized how dramatic those types of situations tend to be. i wanted to breathe and pretend it never happened. maybe i have too much pride to swallow ~~(pun intended).~~ can’t accept another’s help; can’t show that i have a problem. maybe it is reflective of who i am.

theformspring

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:33:00 -0500

theformspring:

i’ve caved in.

already mildly amused/disturbed/confused/mainly amused.

not publishing my answers on here. no worry. promise i won’t spam your dashboard with the link either. (:

theshed. i have another photo of my shed taken on the same...

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:38:05 -0500

theshed.

i have another photo of my shed taken on the same camera. my first developed roll of film, in color. i don’t have it saved to a disk or scanned. but, i think it’s my favorite spot to take a picture at my house.

though, i hope i don’t see it that covered in snow for another year or so.

thevanishingact

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 17:46:50 -0500

if i read my blog from start to finish, and there’s days missing in the sequence, do i pretend they never happened?

it’s been a while since i’ve written anything here and there’s not much to say.

not sure i want to write down the days i can’t wait to end.

life isn’t bad; far from it. i’m just annoyed. slightly worn out.

i need a nap.

thestrength

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:33:19 -0500

you know what it’s like to be afraid. when just the thought sends a shiver down your spine. push it away as much as humanly possible. make it ~~disappear~~. you can’t deal with this. not now, not…ever.

so what happens when you want what you’re afraid of? what if you secretly wanted it all along?

it’ll be time, eventually. your desire will outweigh your fear, but that gut feeling sticks around. it’s that moment in which you make the decision; to hell with your nerves.

you’re ~~overwhelmed~~ now. you don’t know what to do. terrified, yet satisfied. confused. blank. you’ve just been thrown into a situation you never had the courage to face. de vouloir, mais ne peut. it’s too late to decide against it. all you can do is back out. so you do.

what takes more strength? to face it the first time, or choosing to face it once more?

to say “i want to try again.” after what you just experienced.

so it happens. you’re in control this time around. the fear was no where to be found…almost as if it was never there to begin with.

thethemesongofyourblog

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:42:00 -0500

thethemesongofyourblog:

cool site. read the “about” part to see how it’s done.

my song before i posted this blog was really shitty. but apparently it likes this one more…hehe

thelittlethings

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:45:43 -0500

i secretly have some of my deepest thoughts when i’m taking a shower. it’s a peaceful time. there are few activities i find more relaxing than a nice warm shower.

i was thinking about ~~flaws~~. why people don’t like certain things about themselves. i thought about the imperfections people find beauty in in other people. thus, the thought process began. what are those little things i love in the people around me?

i decided i’d blog about it. here it is, straight from the shower. each is about a different person…for the most part. just people off the top of my head.

i love how…

you have so many different laughs, and only a few have heard them all.
the corner of your smile curves down.
your eyes scrunch every time you genuinely smile and laugh.
elegant your eyelashes are.
brilliant your natural hair color is.
i can see fragments of color and shades when i look at your eyes.
the hairs closest to your ears are the boingiest. (it’s a word.)
you bounce with every step you take.
we have that same awkward bump in our noses…and that yours is worse.
you don’t freak out about your frizzies.
you sometimes appear to have a lazy eye, but not all the time.
one must listen closely to understand what you’re saying.
big your eyes are…i wonder how big they looked when you were a baby…
wide your smile is, it makes you look extra happy~
you are so messy when it comes to painting nails.
your energy is limitless.
imperfectly cute your nose is.
you hate everyone but me!
your eyebrows arch so smoothly.

that’s it for now. i don’t know why i want to post this. i’m in an appreciative mood and i want the world to know!…or whoever reads this blog. hm.

thelessonlearned

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 23:58:21 -0500

don’t forget to sign out of your tumblr.

goddamnit, will.

thehausofgaga

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 23:39:05 -0500

okay. fine. i really do love lady gaga

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I <3

~dicks.