rad

thesummerrecap

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:36:43 -0400

2010, you weren’t that bad. but, you weren’t too great either. it was cool while it lasted.

drivers ed early in the morning, art classes at night, ap work, jones beach, camping in a trunk, cute dates, girls nights, actual camping, passing out at warped, reading vonnegut, it’s always sunny in philadelphia, bbqs, sunsets, film, moma, new pencils, difficult goodbyes, laughing so hard i cry and vice versa, swingsets, spontaneous trips, panic, relief, fresh air, too much time in the car, awkward sweet 16s, long beach, the cup, long island rail road, blogging, seamans neck park, freaky dreams, lonely nights, trapped in a pool where approx 3/4 people were hooking up (times 3…and you were the 1/4), missing curfew, new clothes, new shoes, fear, joy, movie nights, missing people, new friendships, old ones officially crumbled, kind strangers, the french family on the train, baking, apologizing, tossing and turning in bed, naps, tanning, jerseyshoreseason2!, smushed pie in a mug, i love yous, leave me alones, embarassed moments, insulted moments, scary times, lying, admitting the truth, hope, being an example, being a bad example, cutting my bangs, not working out enough, pool, key ring, purple candle, college talk, being content, anger, frustration, angst!, panda bears, cats, puppy?, visiting friends parents, tears, smiles, oren lavie, modcong, stuco, bandcamp…the usual.

thecondensation

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 13:43:48 -0400

i don’t know what to say. i’m lonely and torn and every other little angsty teenage word i can think of. i really just want something and someone to look forward, in a completely platonic way. a night out with friends or something and not have any talks about anything. just some fun doing something. i don’t need to nor want to talk about anything that’s bringing me down.

there’s nothing i can do and nothing anyone can do that will make me feel better. i need time and that’s all that will do anything for me.

distractions distractions. where are you?

thecousins

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 09:33:16 -0400

i don’t really know my cousins all too well and they don’t know me. they’re older than me and we never really related to each other.

but apparently when they get married, i have to abandon what i can relate to. so, i have to miss a day of tri-d’s congress, you know, the one that i’m involved in planning and hosting. the one that i’ve been looking forward to since i even imagined the fact that i could be possibly be on board this year.

i’ll have my entrance that friday night. i’ll make sure housing goes as planned. but then i’m gone. i’ll miss exec cheers, i’ll miss entertainment, i’ll miss plenary and announcing best d. i’ll miss it all and i’m really, in all honesty, upset. i get to help plan something that i won’t get to experience.

i have next year to hopefully experience hosting a congress, but for now…what the fudge. why do you have to get married that day? augh. i’m being selfish and bratty but whatever, i think i’m allowed to be a little upset about this. i hope the rest of the board doesn’t hate my guts.

thebeautifulstory. my best friend showed me this. this girl is...

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 01:19:09 -0400

thebeautifulstory.

my best friend showed me this. this girl is adorable. as is this story. needed it on my blog. ‘nuff said.

love bubbiiiiii~~~~~~

theinspiration

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 23:42:06 -0400

i want you all to know that i’m writing this with charlie’s voice saying all the words in my head. it’s always sunny in…becky’s head.

alright now you can read this in becky’s voice. i just want to know if anyone else reads blogs in the person writing it’s voice. i apologize for my grammar. i still have charlie on the mind.

aside from my pointless babbling, i figure i’ll tell you some fun stuff about me. since it’s my blog, sucker, and 92 of you are following it for some unknown reason.

i’ve never been on a ferris wheel. i’d like to go on one someday with someone special, be it a close family member, a friend, a significant other. etc. i like to light matches over and over and over, for no purpose but to watch the flame. it’s a waste of matches. beaches are cool, but i don’t know about the whole long walk thing. i get dehydrated really easily. i’ve concluded i can’t live anywhere south-er than long island because of my bad tolerance with heat. my brain just can’t make these words work tonight. dark chocolate appeals to me more than any other because i like bitter stuff. i drink my coffee black and i can’t wait to be an old person one day so i can eat trail mix and be cute with my wrinkles and unfashionable attire. the world is just a bunch of shapes put together quite nicely and i like to see it as such.

there’s a whole bunch of people i see and say secretly to myself (aka in my head, but not in charlie’s voice) “wow that is an admirable being.” that’s not verbatim of course, but it’s to that effect. i always want to be the person that will provoke such thoughts in people around me and i know i rarely do, but that’s okay, too. just giving a smile will suffice, too.

i grew up with a hippie who doesn’t believe in recycling. i love her. but, i wonder whether this will truly affect my future. i wonder if i will recycle once i have my own place. i do it when it’s available and i even go out of my way to ensure it at times. but i wonder if it’s one of those practices you just will end up rediscovering 20 years later.

this post has no meaning.

i’ve been having those sleepless nights when you toss and turn for a few hours, then finally fall asleep for 3, and dream about tossing and turning. then you wake up in a mind fuck and decide in your exhausted stupor to just wait until a reasonable hour to crawl out of bed. normally that’d put me in a pissy mood, like it would with most people, but it didn’t bug me much. i just didn’t nap today and i think that’s contributing to this silly little post.

i’m a hypocrite and so are you. i’m half talking to myself by saying that. i really don’t have any wisdom to share with anyone because i’ve experienced such little. you can’t honestly take my word for anything i’ve written on this blog because it all boils down to my interpretation of situations i’ve witnessed, heard of, and or experienced firsthand. an interpretation will never be a fact and nothing i say will ever be a fact. besides that. see, it gets tricky.

have i mentioned i stop rereading my posts before i post them? unless it’s about something relevant to my life. an event or such. i like to be accurate about those, but shit happens. you know. these are just thoughts floating through my mind.

oh man, the charlie voice is back.

i really enjoy that show, you know.

thebennington

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:34:03 -0400

okay so i’m looking at schools online. bennington is looking so good, minus the fact it’s in chilly vermont.

besides the fact that they have a lot of what i’m looking for…they also have…

a cupcake club.

honestly, you are number one right now. those ivy leagues on the rest of the list can suck it. i don’t need a super selective school, i need a cupcake club. fosho.

therunaway

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:49:22 -0400

okay so here’s the plan. get a job somehow and make some money. save up said money. shazam, buy cheap plane ticket round trip and go see you for at least a full day. suppwiiiiize.

or, or, or.

steal the car, use said money to buy gas, and drive when i eventually have my license all the way to see you.

or or or.

teleport.

the way i see it, if one of the parties in a relationship is not dead, then nothing is impossible and nothing should really get in the way from seeing you, ya know?

last resort: wait sadly until november. boohoo.

theseptemberdays

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 21:34:23 -0400

fine, i’ll admit it. i’m looking forward to going back to school, and i am almost done with all of my homework for the summer. i’m not exactly bored but i feel unfulfilled doing little all day. i find myself a little lonely at times and i don’t mind being stuck in school with other people, even if the work gets difficult. i want that constant social environment. i need to be busy and for now, school is my next best bet to staying busy. soon enough i’ll be at art school and busy with all the clubs and such.

i’ll miss being able to nap all day. i’ll be content for a few days, tops. but i’ll be busy. and above all else, i think that’s what i need.

i have friends, but i don’t go out every single day. i like my becky time. and i shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit it. besides, half the people i want to see are gone. so.

i need to be back in school and continue life.

thehighlightedlist

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 20:50:51 -0400

there’s a piece of paper next to me with schools i’m recommended to look up online from the director of my art school. scary shit yo.

i don’t wanna talk about college or school just yet. though, it is september.

september is the excitement of school beginning, the anxiety returning, the relief that it’s not as bad as you always anticipate it to be. it’s the adjustment to waking up early, to watching days fly by, and waiting for weekends.

it’s more of a new year than january will ever be to a student.

but, i don’t want to speak too soon. it’s still summer.

i slept later than i did all summer, which was ironically “early” in all past summers. right around 11 this morning. i slept well and even napped not too long ago. so, to compensate, i ran a mile on the treadmill to make sure i’ll be tired enough to sleep tonight.

i’ve been a happier person these last few weeks. i don’t know why. i guess life just appears so grand and i want to enjoy every second of it. my mom had a doctors appointment at a place where people are often diagnosed with serious conditions, and she told me how she wondered whether or not the people next to her were dying. it’s funny that i inherited that same curiosity and concern from her.

we’ve gotten close this summer, between all the car trips to various places i needed to be to just being alone in the house with her when i had nothing to do. i’m really glad we bonded.

my list of goals keeps growing. my best friends and i have a list of things to accomplish before high school ends. some i’ve nailed, and others i have yet to. amongst those i have yet to do…well, the only one i want to mention…is learn how to walk in high heels.

now, if you know me, i’m incredibly clumsy. but i want to counter that. i want to overcome this aspect of myself to some extent and master the art of walking in heels. i’m gonna be a real woman some day and i can bake and sort of cook and do laundry and stuff, but however shall i play the role of a wimmanz if i can’t wear heels? ha!

no but really, i’m serious about this goal. i’m determined.

i keep talking about my goals on here but i never talk about accomplishing them. well, i do, but it’s far less often than i talk about what i want to do.

life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.

theloserpants

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 00:41:14 -0400

there are some people i feel like i could get along with so well, but they’re too cool for me and aren’t interested in it.

rejection yo.

i wonder what would happen if i tried anyway. no harm in it, you know? i think i will. i know we all have our judgments in our minds about those around us, but who’s to say we’re right?

i guess it’s a lesson i’ll take from my good friend, who somehow managed to befriend everyone. i don’t want to miss out on any friendship because one of us was too shy to strike up a conversation. that’s not a good way to live your life.

there’s so much to do this year, and i’m excited for all of it. this is one of those things i’m going to work on. i’ll let you know how it goes.

thebbb

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:56:08 -0400

that may stick, someday. triplebthreat.

birthday baker becky. becky (the) birthday baker.

etc.

so for student council, i finally get to be the one who brings in cupcakes and brownies and such for each birthday. it’s kind of perfect for me. i love baking, i love being enthusiastic, and i love making people smile. oh, and baking is a hobby of mine, if you didn’t know. it’ll be that perfect excuse for me to bake during the school year and FINALLY try out these cool cupcake recipes in a book i bought many months ago.

it’s these little things that make me really happy.

ps my flickr hit 500 views somehow. i thought it was worth mentioning.

thedvdplayer

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:45:06 -0400

my best friend lent me a few seasons of it’s always sunny in philadelphia on dvd. my dvd player froze several times, as it infamously does. le sigh.

i have this ankle bracelet i got in pennsylvania on a camping trip this summer. your wish is supposed to come true when it falls off. mine has yet to fall off.

thebecky.com/ask

thebestfriend. i’m sure i’ve used this as a blog...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:57:26 -0400

thebestfriend.

i’m sure i’ve used this as a blog title before, but it’s always been about the same person. so, it’s alright.

this is emily, my best friend. we took a trip to moma the other day and took some photos at the train station because we were early. i love having her model for me and she loves doing it, so it’s a win win situation.

i took a bunch of pictures of her but i think this one is my favorite because of the lighting. the angle the dark strikes creates a triangle, and the light between her legs and the dark area creates another triangle. it just happened to work that way and that repetition makes me happy.

@rspodick, i’m glad you enjoy my photospam. i like spamming my blog with my photos, too. they’re my favorites, and i like to tell the story behind the photo.

photography wouldn’t be as interesting if there were no story behind the picture, right? maybe one of these days i’ll devote the time to write literally a thousand words about a picture i took. maybe everyone, whether they call themselves a writer, a photographer, or someone who’s merely into both or either as a hobby, should try that. i’m no writa and no fotograffa, but i think i’ll try. you down?

thepicasso. moma had some exhibit on picasso. he created enough...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:50:34 -0400

thepicasso.

moma had some exhibit on picasso. he created enough work objectifying his lovers to create an exhibit.

he’s still one of my favorites, but man did that guy get some. i mean, i guess it’s alright because they were significant enough to inspire him…it’s some consolation to a woman to be immortalized in art when your lover has slept with many more than just you.

though, who’s to say that she didn’t, too?

theladyinpennstation. we saw this lady and she was really...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:45:24 -0400

theladyinpennstation.

we saw this lady and she was really pretty.

so we took a picture.

does knowing the story behind this make you paranoid that someone’s taking a photo of you when you’re not looking?

invasive? totally. flattering? not as much as it is the former, but yes, ‘tis that, too.

thegirlbehindthecamera. very often, people offer to give me...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:41:02 -0400

thegirlbehindthecamera.

very often, people offer to give me rides home. they all know i’m merely a couple of blocks away, and i don’t mind the time to think on my walk home.

i allowed a friend’s mother to drive me home the other day to entertain her. she was thrilled.

i rarely let others use my camera because i’d rather take pictures of them.

it just so happens my best friend did a good job taking this picture of me. so, she’s now in my circle of trust and i allow her to use it. hehe. it’s not that i’m bitchy about it, film’s just expensive and i gotta make the best of it when i have it. this was totally worth it.

so was getting that ride home that hot summer day.

more photospam to come!

thelittlepiggy. i saw this commercial for the first time today...

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:54:53 -0400

thelittlepiggy.

i saw this commercial for the first time today (though it’s been around for a while.) it makes me happy and giggly. i want one.

needed it on my blog, of course.

thewaves

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:40:07 -0400

i beat my alarm this morning, waking up before 6:30. you see, today was freshmen orientation. my school began this “freshman buddy” program that i found myself involved with. up until last week i thought it was silly and wouldn’t work, but i realized the success depends on the amount of effort we put into this. obviously it’ll suck if i don’t care about it.

so, i decided to care. these are easily impressionable kids and i want to help them. if i’m going to be involved, i want to do my best. after getting in touch via interwebz last week, i was semi prepared to see them today. obviously it was awkward and some didn’t want to be there, but i got them giggling. they spoke and though the nerves were there, they also seemed kind of excited. soon they were comfortable. i was happy to have had a bit of success.

i’m still under the impression that administration thinks the program will be far more successful than it really will be, but so far, on a small scale, it’s doing something for the kids. others were not as lucky to have as much success; whether it be due to a lack of effort or lack of chemistry between freshmen and mentors, who knows. but if it worked for one group, then maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea.

i got home and was revved up because i accomplished a small little something. found my mom doing crossword puzzles in the backyard and convinced her to take an afternoon and hit up the beach. it worked, and we’ve never done something like that together. it was so nice and i was really happy to spend the afternoon with her. i know she needed a spontaneous little break like that…

and in all honesty, i needed it, too. i needed to feel those waves come crashing towards me. i needed to focus on nothing but my surroundings. for me, it was a very peaceful experience. most ventures to the beach put me in a better mood. a sleepy mood, but a better one.

there were these girls near us talking about a break up. she said something about waiting for him, and her friend said something that lingered in my mind ever since. “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. i’ve waited so much in my life and i don’t want to anymore. don’t wait for him, if it’s going to happen, it will. it may be a year, two years, 6 months, or never….”etc. it wasn’t verbatim, but that was the gist of it.

i know you’re not supposed to eavesdrop, but the girl had a point. just gotta keep living your life. i think the world has a way of working itself out. it’ll be just fine for that girl.

thepurplecandle

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 23:47:24 -0400

le sigh. oh tumblr.

i miss the past, i look forward to the future. the present is decent enough.

your thoughts can be the present or the past, but by the time they’re the future you already thought it and it’s too late. weird.

therainydaysong. it’s sad, but catchy. i like the lyrics....

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 15:38:30 -0400

therainydaysong.

it’s sad, but catchy. i like the lyrics. but it’s sad. motion city soundtrack is wonderful.

but sad.

last night, by motion city soundtrack.